trust

have been going around in circles trying to convince myself that it really doesn't matter how I am treated..

Lies, they tend to hurt. Little white lies, bold stinking whopper lies, and even lies to spare you...they hurt..

They hurt, because it stops the development of trust. It stops the growth of love and respect.

It just hurts because every f'ing person that should matter thinks its ok to lie to you.

And about things that don't even matter..at least not to me.

Why bother to lie about something that has no baring on anything?

what purpose was served in playing a part in a lie, of building a story line about something and adding to it and continuing when the truth is so much easier....maybe the truth hurts a little....or maybe not....but the elaborate lies hurt more because I am supposed to sit there and listen to them and pretend to believe them..when all along I am breaking apart at the nerve of the lies.

When all I hear is not adding up...when I want so much to believe and the more I try the stupider I feel and the realization that they think I am that stupid hurts even more.

Well, for someone that already has trust issues..this the end of any progress we have made.

Now all I can do is just pretend that things are aok..when inside I am.....broken.