like a broken record

Why does it feel like I go around and around and never get anywhere?
These reunions suck. I search for people and then get a huge let down.
Mother, father, siblings..and even my adopted brother.
I think its me. I expect to much. I expect the impossible.
Then I realize that I am dong all the searching and no one has bothered to search for me. They seem excited when I find them, but then never lift a finger to build a relationship.
Days go by with no contact. If I don't contact, they don't contact. What am I supposed to think about this?
Forget about it and move on? Work hard to do the work of everyone involved in these reunions? When is it going to be enough? When will I require others to work with me?
Nights of tears, days of driving around and around crying and not being able to stop.
Not being able to stop crying and not being able to stop driving because I can't stop crying long enough to get to my destination. *sigh*
Gotta harden my heart again,I guess.