who's own good?

Reading blogs gets me so motivated to write, it also motivates me to action (except I am lazy) and many times it drives me to anger.
There is one blog in particular that really has my emotions on a see saw. Up and down.
And I await a new post. Needless to say she hasn't posted about her birthday and her birth mother's reaction to it. Plans were made by both months in advance and then canceled by said mother.
Problem is her mother is notorious for such doings.
But, I came across another blog..which had my story pretty much written in it..well..not the whole sordid affair but the whole "my family reads my blog and then judges me harshly about it".
She wants to cancel her blog..I sent her an email and told her not to. Those are her feelings and she should have a right to voice them and her family should understand.
But the truth is family never understands, an adoptee must be happy happy joy joy all the time so they bios won't get hurt and defensive and just like you were supposed to make your adopted family happy by being the good adoptee...you have to make your natural family happy by being the forgiving adoptee.
But the question is, Can't you be forgiving and STILL upset?
I told my natural mother (after the blog fiasco and myspace BS) that I have a right to mourn the loss of my first family. I have the right to be angry at the decisions that were made on my behalf by everyone (except me) and I have the right to just be plain sad. Don't I?
She said yes, but really she meant no. Because dearest, things were done for your own GOOD. Oh yeah..not her own good?...not anyone's own good...really? Yeah..
I had nothing to do about it...except the inconvenience part. The whole "oh snap!" Baby on board.